Add direct messages (#52)

A DM is a Room with a new is_dm flag, not a separate model -- reuses
all the membership/message/WS plumbing Room already has instead of
duplicating it. The room's `name` (still required + globally unique)
is an internal, never-displayed token derived deterministically from
the two participants' sorted user IDs (dm_room_name), which makes
find-or-create a single indexed lookup and gets free race-condition
safety from the existing unique constraint -- a concurrent double-
start from both people just hits the same IntegrityError->retry-as-
lookup path create_room already established.

Both participants get the plain 'member' role (no owner/admin
distinction makes sense for a 1:1 DM), which incidentally reuses
every existing role gate to block add-member, room-settings edits,
and join-via-browse on a DM for free. update_room also gets an
explicit is_dm guard independent of that, since renaming a DM isn't
just a privacy concern -- it would silently corrupt the find-or-create
invariant. DMs are excluded from both Browse Rooms and the admin
portal's room listing (fully private, per scope).

GET /api/rooms/mine precomputes each DM's other participant (name,
avatar, presence) as dm_partner in one batched query, so the sidebar
can render a DM row without a fetch per row. Frontend: a new "Direct
Messages" sidebar section (searchable by partner name, not the
internal room name), clicking someone in the People list starts or
resumes a DM, and the chat header/composer/RoomInfoPanel all render
the partner's identity instead of a room name where it's a DM.

Co-Authored-By: Claude Sonnet 5 <noreply@anthropic.com>

backend/alembic/versions/9ca717f837c2_room_is_dm_flag_for_direct_messages.py

@@ -0,0 +1,35 @@
+"""room is_dm flag for direct messages
+
+Revision ID: 9ca717f837c2
+Revises: 9484fbd1cb3a
+Create Date: 2026-08-19 15:50:25.781735
+
+"""
+from typing import Sequence, Union
+
+from alembic import op
+import sqlalchemy as sa
+
+
+# revision identifiers, used by Alembic.
+revision: str = '9ca717f837c2'
+down_revision: Union[str, Sequence[str], None] = '9484fbd1cb3a'
+branch_labels: Union[str, Sequence[str], None] = None
+depends_on: Union[str, Sequence[str], None] = None
+
+
+def upgrade() -> None:
+    """Upgrade schema."""
+    # server_default backfills existing rows; dropped right after since the
+    # model itself only sets a Python-side default (see is_archived above).
+    op.add_column(
+        'rooms', sa.Column('is_dm', sa.Boolean(), nullable=False, server_default=sa.false())
+    )
+    op.alter_column('rooms', 'is_dm', server_default=None)
+
+
+def downgrade() -> None:
+    """Downgrade schema."""
+    # ### commands auto generated by Alembic - please adjust! ###
+    op.drop_column('rooms', 'is_dm')
+    # ### end Alembic commands ###